Thursday, December 30, 2010

:: My 2010 in a nutshell ::

2010. If I could sum up my 2010 in one word, it would be "Awesome". 2010 has been a great year for me. "How can the year be great for u?" people might ask. Well, 2010 was great because I made it great. Let me tell you guys a story.

I remember, it was the countdown to usher in 2010. I was with K and my younger brother under a block near my place, eating Myojo cup noodles. For the first time after a very long time, here I was, under a block eating cup noodles with only 2 people to accompany me. It was such a humbling experience. Before I knew it, 2010 came. No countdowns. No group of friends. No gigs. No big crowds. I looked at K and I remembered saying to him, "Dude. 2010 will be MY year. I'm going to make things happen for myself." Best thing to happen to me in 2009 was to break my ankle. There I was, looking at the stars, unable to move, humbled, being forced to take a break.

Now, what exactly did I do to make 2010 MY year. Looking back, here's what I've accomplish for 2010 (I'll try to list down some, if not all, of it. To the best of what I can remember) :

01) Got a good paying "stable salary" job
02) Got my Class 2B license
03) Got a bike
04) Finally bought a ring for 19Frets
05) Picked up "Photography" as a new hobby
06) Picked up "Exploring" as a new hobby
07) Picked up "Fishing" as a new hobby
08) Tried filming and writing a short story
09) Created my dream bass "Da Jerk"
10) Kept close friends really close to me
11) Rekindle lost friendships
12) Visited the Botanical Gardens
13) Visited Kampong Buangkok
14) Finding the twin Merlions
15) Saw the Toa Payoh dinosaurs
16) Saw the Whampoa dragon
17) Found more cool place to sit and relax
18) Being able to still write music
19) Having the chance to play my last gig for Oligarchy
20) Buying Mio TV
21) Surviving my first ever bike accident

2010. What can I say? Awesome, awesome year. The saddest thing about 2010 is this. Oligarchy is on an indefinite hiatus. How long? Well, there is a very high chance that Oligarchy will be disbanded, although nothing is OFFICIAL yet. I know words are traveling around somewhere, someplace regarding the reasons why this is happening. Now is not the time for me, the person who created this band in the first place, to inform people about it. Nothing is official. There are many things that needs figuring out. To see if it all makes sense to even continue this journey at this point of time. No official breakup announcements are written in either our Myspace or Reverbnation page. Our music is still there for people to listen to or download. When things are finally thought about and decisions are finally made official, the announcement will be made at those 2 page and also here. If there is a need for me to personally explain why, that would be written here too. Now that's a promise I can make to everyone out there who are considered Oligarchy's fans and friends. As for now, Oligarchy is on an indefinite hiatus. The reason? It's musically based. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I don't want to thank friends, fans or organizers for the wonderful 5 years that I had with Oligarchy. Instead, I would have this to say to the ones mentioned above. "If you think those 5 years are good, wait till you see what I have in mind for the next 5 years!"

My 2011 resolutions will be covered in a few days to come. But all I can say to you, my friends, is this.

"End 2010 the way you want 2011 to be."

With that, I want to wish (from the bottom of my heart)

Happy new year to all my friends!!!


Ps - to 19frets "I love you so much! Thanks for being the compass that never fails"

Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

:: What is this world coming to? ::

Something is really really wrong with my luck when it comes to telcos company in Singapore. First, I finally give in to buying Singtel's Mio plan just to watch soccer. Today, the big match, gets postponed! Come on man!!! Plus, I wanted to get a data plan for my Starhub mobile.... and this is what the sales person answered me when i ask when i can do it, "Oh, after 1 year you can recontract". When I told him when my contract ends he said, "Oh, can you wait 3 more months?" I'm like.... WTF. Come on people! At least BBQ is coming for Suf's birthday. I need to go and buy stuff for that soon man....

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

:: Kitty pot ::

This month is going really really well so far. With a $300 kitty pot to spend, I'm wrecking my brains to buy things. I finally got a fishing rod and reel. Caught a fish on its first outing. Now, what do I buy with the rest of the money. Here's a list

1) A new bass? (must be able to compete with Da Jerk which is hard)
2) A new bass bag?
3) Save it for recording?
4) A new helmet?
5) A new external hard disk?
6) PS3? - This would be extreme
7) A new CPU? - Now this would be really really extreme
8) Go on a holiday?
9) Rent a chalet?
10) BBQ?
11) Go zoo?
12) Go night safari?
13) Go zoo AND night safari?

Well, that's all the options i've got so far. Will update. DECEMBER BUTTOCKS!!!!!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

:: ERP on Twitter ::

Oh man.... this is so so funny. Click here to see what I'm talking about.

Monday, November 29, 2010

:: Last weekend ::

Last weekends, there was no gigs, no jam, no nothing. Last weekend was filled with nothing. Finally, a time to rest, a time to reflect, a time to catch up on much needed sleep and lastly, a time to just hit that stop button to rest. Right?

WRONG!

Last weekend was GREAT! Filming, cousins getting married, went to the guitar shop and writing! Now, that's life people! Weekend was really really busy but its uber rad! Took pictures too. Might be editing it and putting it on flickr real soon. Tomorrow's a busier day. Back to work! BOOYAH!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

:: Accidental Meeting ::

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it's a bad one.

Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman... Wow!

Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head, opens it and says "You take the first drink", then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately chugs half of it, puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The woman asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The man replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."

:: Beer contains female hormones ::

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

:: Counter measures ::

Two young boys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young boys, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than some hard jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court on Monday morning, bright and early."

The two boys where in court that Monday morning, and the judge asked the first one, "So, How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor," he replied, "I persuaded 22 people to give up drugs forever."

"22 people? That's amazing. How'd you accomplish such a feat?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs, and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" he asked the second boy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 214 people to give up drugs forever."

"214 people! That's unbelieveable! How on earth did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar approach," he answered. "I drew a large and a small circle. Pointing to the small circle, I said, this is your asshole before you go to prison..........."

:: 10.10.10 ::

There's 2 things in Singapore now that's really important.

1) Chicken Rice and
2) Sheikh Haikel's new album (10.10.10)

If you have never ever tasted Chicken Rice, something is really wrong. Even writing the sentence gives me the chills! Its a free download album. Nicely done, nicely recorded, nice usage of Auto-tune and lastly, its freaking awesome. I'm no rapper or a RnB song writer, but its good music. And that's all that matters.

Go download the album here people!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

:: Welcome to hell ::

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!

Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and Fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!

Guy: Gee that sounds great!

Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You know it!

Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?

Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Why, yes I do.

Demon: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?...

Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!

Guy: WOW !! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!

Demon: Are You gay?

Guy: No....

Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

:: Ultimate Class test ::

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

:: Single 70 year old ::

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married again. So she put an ad in the local newspaper that reads:

"HUSBAND WANTED:MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),MUST NOT BEAT ME,MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON."

Two days later the doorbell rang. She opened the door, and much to her dismay, there sat a gray-haired gentleman in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
"Are you responding to my ad?" the woman asked. "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?"
"Yes, I am," the man replied.

The old lady sneered: "Just look at you. You have no legs !"

The old gentleman smiled and said: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms, either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, and softly replied: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

The wedding is set for Saturday.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

:: Ghost story ::

This is a true story, it happened to a guy who worked as a staff, on the 40th floor of the Treasury Building in Shenton Way. On that day Thursday night, he worked overtime and was forced to go home alone around 11:00 in the evening....No one was inside the building, aside from the night patrol and it was quite dark on that floor. He went to the elevator and pressed the down button, then the door opened without anyone inside....he went in and then, pressed "G" for ground floor.

Unknowingly why, the elevator went up. He tried to press the down button again but it continued to go up.When it reached the 59th floor,the elevator stopped! The door opened, and then, a woman who was mysteriously so beautiful, with long black hair and white dress, smiled sweetly at him and entered the elevator. The guy was wondering who she was, since he never saw her ever since he worked in that building. He was asking himself...who is she, and why haven't she gone home yet when it was nearly midnight, it's not safe for a lady to be alone late in the evening.

He wanted to ask her but since he was shy, he just kept silent. In the silence, the elevator went down slowly from one floor to another... 48... 47.... 46...... 35... 34..... 29...... when suddenly...on the 13th floor, the lights in the elevator went off and the elevator suddenly stopped. It was pitch darkness...he pressed the emergency button...waited...but nothing happened. Suddenly, he smelled a very foul
odor of something rotten... goose pimples went all over his skin...his
heart beat faster,cold sweat broke out his brows, he could not breathe, ....and so, he began to say a prayer and tried to calm himself, breathe normally....while moving backwards slowly. Then, the lights came on. Suddenly, the woman who was behind him gave an eerie laugh.... and said..................................



Sorry I just Fart.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

:: Nice ::

Girl: What's wrong?
Boy : I like her so much...
Girl: Talk to her!
Boy : I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy : I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her..
Boy : She won't like me...
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy : I can just tell.
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy : What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her!
Boy : I tell her that daily.
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy : I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll NEVER like me!
Boy : Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy.
Boy : Oh... She won't like me either.
Girl: She does.
Boy : How do you know..?
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy : You.
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy : I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy : I just did!

Monday, November 15, 2010

:: Dancing hall ::

" This slow dance
Is close to the end
Is in your hands
Its your decisions"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

:: Numbers game ::

A boy was walking down a street. As he passed a building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen" over and over again.

Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn't. Then he spotted a hole in the wood.

He put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, the people started chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

:: Jam time ::

Yesterday was the day where I hauled my ass down to the jam room to practice for Oligarchy's last show before another hiatus. Really rad and looking forward for this coming weekend to play a legendary gig. Details are still very very hazy. All I know is that it's at the new scape on the 21st of this month. I do not know when we'll be on stage but we'll be there by 2 pm for sound checks. I do not know if there's tickets to be bought or if its a free entry gig. More to come on this blog when I do know. In the mean time, get busy listening to some of our songs either here or here.

Can't wait to meet up and catch up with friends on that special day. Booyah!!!

Also, we'll be giving away our EP for FREE! Thats freaking right. Free!!! So come and catch it while you still can because we will be donating all of the EP to the salvation army after the 21st.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

:: BABES concert ::

21st November 2010. Remember this date people. Why? Coz Oligarchy will be playing on that very same day at Scape (Basement). Be there by 3 to not only hang out but to see us perform in our last gig EVER for this year. It's going to be historical! Here is the setlist,

Smoke as perfume
RTT
Not about you
Bringing them down
Caving into something

So be there coz its going to be something special! True dat!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

:: Random text message ::

I random texted 2 unfortunate souls the following.

To K : "I miss your 20 minute kisses and angry rough sex on your black booty"
His answer : "Lol!"

To Moe : "I miss your 20 minute kisses and angry rough anal sex in your security attire"
His answer : "Wtf?!"


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

:: A model, idiot ::

:: Introduction ::

Back in 2002, my brother was given a bass guitar as a present. It was passed on to yours truly in less than a year since his passion for music went kaput. That bass, was passed on to Bob, who used it for early Oligarchy gigs and recordings (can be heard in the early recordings of "Shot till perfection" ep and also the "Reading between the lines" Ep).

Last year, I bought my younger brother another bass (which i call "Da Asshole"). "Da Asshole" was used for most of my home recordings but has finally choose to die out on me (ok, in some ways it ia still functional but i reckon i have to spend ALOT of vitamin M to fix it). Since "Da Asshole" has truly become its namesake, I finally got back that old bass of mine from Bob. 5 years on loan and its back with me now.

Why is this bass guitar important? Firstly, it's my first bass guitar. Secondly, that bass guitar is no longer in production. I truly love Samick guitars (my first electric guitar is a Samick strat copy).


Now here is where things get very very interesting. When I got back the bass guitar, it looks tired. The pickups, at least part of it, wasn't working due to the number of years it has been used. The electronics were begging to just retire. The neck was dirty and worn out. Every metal piece on it looked like it has went thru WW2. There was constant buzzing on the fret board. So what do I do? I went out to get it fixed up and custom-ed to how I would like it to be.

People..... introducing.... "Da Jerk"!







































































































I won't go to details of the specs. But on a nutshell, its a Samick Precision bass loaded with split P's pickups with a single volume knob (just like "Cruella" which has one humbucker with a single volume knob). I got a really cool guitar tech to rewire everything, polish up the neck and the metal pieces and lastly to fix up the trust rod on the neck. How does it sound like? Click on the video below. (Sorry, recorded it straight from my comp).


video

So there you have it. Now I have 2 out of production Samicks that has been customized to my liking. "Da Jerk" will certainly be part of something great. Just wait for it.

:: Introducing a new friend soon ::

Do you know who is "Da Jerk"? My next post will be about him. Its going to be uber sweet! Wait here for it people!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

:: Logo of myself ::

Thinking of making this my logo. Possible?

:: Lover's letter ::

Dear lover,

Your love to me is like yogurt. Rich, creamy, pasteurized milk. You are milk that can be eaten. The multi-flavors you give to our love is purely enriching. It took us a long time to change what was first milk, into yogurt. You strengthen my bones and prevent arthritis. I savor all the rich creamy flavors which only you can offer me.

Love,
Your ex-husband

P.s - I'm VERY lactose intolerant.


This isn't a letter for my gf. So please babe, don't murder me.

Monday, October 18, 2010

:: Respect! ::

:: Busy busy boy ::

Been busy as an ant for the past few days. I have to

1) Edit pictures of dragons and dinosaurs that I took
2) Make an awesome entry of it
3) Redo some info on my flickr page and lastly
4) Remix a Lunarin song from their album "Duae"

No, I wasn't invited to do it. More info to come on this. Just got the tracks on Sunday morning (around 2 am i think) and have been mixing it ever since. Got it close to 60% done. Hope they won't sue me for the things I've did to their song (since 2 out of 3 of them are lawyers). Here's some cool quotes about work that you can mercilessly use.

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find out how to do it."

"The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."

"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

"The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more."

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

More updates soon people. Its a haircut for me soon. Booyah!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

:: More lizards preview ::

I have yet to really process the pictures.... so here's more previews



Sunday, October 10, 2010

:: The TV Voice ::

How do you convince people that a lie is the truth? Well, there's this concept that I use. Its called..... "The TV Voice" concept. What is this concept you might ask me. Here is the answer.

"The TV Voice" concept is where a person, when telling a lie, would do so with the following actions:

1) Deep baritone TV reporter voice
2) Professional annunciation of words and lastly
3) A very convincing look

Below is a good example on the usage of "The TV Voice" concept. Do listen and watch it. Try it yourself while looking at a mirror. But DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT try this to people without sufficient practice! Once you are caught using this concept wrongly, people will know that you're lying. More videos to come to show perfect examples of "The TV Voice" concept.

"The TV Voice Concept" example 1 : Haunted School

video

Saturday, October 09, 2010

:: Found those lizards! ::

We came, we saw and we conquered! Yes. We found those old lizards! More to come over the next few days. Research to find the answers..... and pictures to show that we were there! Walked and walked for hours. Keep checking back to see the stories behind what we found today. I'm so freaking tired right now. Toodaloo!

:: Hunting down big old lizards ::

And today, I'll be hunting down big old lizards.... wait for it.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

:: Important words ::

:: 1347 days with you and it never gets old ::

Awesomeness

:: The comma effect ::

Recently at work, I learn this new concept of merging sentences to make grammatical sense. I like to call it... "THE COMMA EFFECT". So how do we use this "Comma Effect" you might ask. Here is the definition of "THE COMMA EFFECT".

The Comma Effect.

The concept of "The Comma Effect" will only come to play if it fulfills one or more of the following;
1) More than one point is needed in one sentence
2) If the sentence written is too long
3) To make more sense in the sentence.

How does it work?
Lets see an example.

Example 1) Wan is a jerk, even though he is insanely leuwau, who writes a blog.

If you take the sentence before and after the commas the sentence would still make sense. Like so.

Without the commas
Wan is a jerk who writes a blog.

So what becomes of the sentence in the comma. Well, that is to just add on more information relevant to the sentence. Lets see another one.

Insurance Agent : Yes the insurance coverage you want is cheap, although in the event that you don't die from the accident you won't get any money and you probably have to work thru the pain or beg for money or even sell your house to pay for it, and well suited for you

Have fun with "The Comma Effect". Don't limit yourself to just written sentences. Go!

Friday, October 01, 2010

:: Just had to do this ::


















Find more of this here

:: The lost Merlion ::

Awhile back i took a photo of some "lost" merlions. Now, after some research. Here is the answer to that riddle. You can sure check out Wikipedia or Infopedia to know that they are WRONG! Someone needs to update those things....

The Merlions, which you can see here were taken at Ang Mo Kio Avenue 1. Completed in Aug 1998, the Merlions were built to welcome residents and visitors to the precinct. (Thanks to Ms Vivien Ang from the Ang Mo Kio - Yio Chu Kang Town council)

Instead of the stated 5 Merlions that are recognized by the Singapore Tourism Board, there are actually 8 Merlions recognized by them. They are,

- Merlion Park x 2 (main Merlion and the Merlion cub)
- Sentosa x 1
- Mount Faber x 1
- STB x 1
- Ang Mo Kio x 2
- Lilliputt x 1 (located at East Coast Park)

Thanks to Mrs Angela Tan from the Singapore Tourism Board for the information.

Now the truth has been listed. People, remember where you know this from. Spread the word! Knowledge is power! BOOYAH!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

:: Online dating ::

Once upon a time, many many…. Wait for it…. Many years ago,

Hang Tuah and Tun Mamat was chilling out at the Istana cafeteria, enjoying a cup of coffee and chewing on some tobacco.

“Hang Tuah, why do you want to slack here? Don’t they have a good cafeteria down the road?” asked Tun Mamat.

“Mat. I’m old. I don’t want to travel far. Lets just sit here and enjoy what we have now. Plus, I can get a Laksamana discount.” Answered Hang Tuah.

Suddenly, down the hallway, Sultan Mahmud was pacing looking at his iphone. He turns and saw Hang Tuah. “Yes. The person I’m looking for.”

“Hang Tuah! Hang Tuah! Come here!” shouted the Sultan.

Hang Tuah and Tun Mamat hurriedly ran to the Sultan. “Wahai tuanku beribu ribu am-“

“Ya ya ya.” The Sultan waved his hands. “Tuah, check this out. Pretty or not?” the Sultan asked, showing his phone to Tuah.

“Yes your highness. She is pretty. Who is she may I ask your highness?” Tuah said.

“She. My friend. Is Puteri Gunung Ledang. I saw her at facebook. Her nickname is mountainmystic27.” Said the Sultan. “Now I want you to go to Gunung Ledang and get her to marry me. I’ve already put a shoutout on her wall telling her that you and Tun Mamat will be coming.”

The message look like this.

Hotsultan36 : “Yo my Puteri. My peeps are coming down to bring you here today. See you soon. XOXOX”

Hang Tuah and Tun Mamat set foot to Gunung Ledang.

“See la Tuah. I told you go eat somewhere else….. noooooo… discount la. Tired la.” Grumbled Tun Mamat.

“Ya ya ya. Wait Mamat. I think we’re here. What beautiful garden this place has.” Hang Tuah said.

An old scary looking women suddenly appeared in front of them and said “Yes?”

“SIAL!” screamed Hang Tuah and Tun Mamat (jumping a few metres behind).

“Who are you?!” asked Hang Tuah.

“What you mean ‘Who are you?’? You came here. Who are you?” the old lady said.

“I’m Hang Tuah. I come here looking for mountainmys- I mean Puteri Gunung Ledang. Please don’t tell me you are her. My king will flip!” Hang Tuah said.

“No. I’m not her. I’m her maid (Good morning mum, good morning dad). I’ll go and get her for you.” After saying that, the old lady walked behind a tree.

“Tuah. For a moment I thought that was the Puteri. You know la this days…. People never put the right picture of themselves on their facebook.” Tun Mamat said.

“I know Tun Mamat. I know.” Hang Tuah said.

“Friends! My Queen has decided. If your Sultan wants to meet her and marry her. She has a few conditions that need to be fulfilled. They are….” The old lady said but was interrupted by Tuah.

“WAIT!!!!! Let me write this down.” Tuah said. He took out a notebook and Tun Mamat passed him a pen. “Carry on”

“Ok. The conditions are.

· A golden bridge for her to walk to Malacca from the mountain,

· A silver bridge for her to return from Malacca to the mountain,

· Seven jars of virgin's tears,

· Seven bowls of betel nut juice,

· Seven trays filled with hearts of fleas,

· Seven trays filled with hearts of mosquitoes, and

· A bowl of the blood of the Sultan's young son.

Got everything?” asked the old lady.

“A bridge eh. Seven jars of virgins’ tears. Can can. I let my King know.” Tuah said.

Now…. We’ll fast forward to how they got the things.

Hang Tuah and Tun Mamat got the golden bridge, the silver bridge, seven bowls of betel nut juice, trays of fleas’ heart and trays of mosquitos’ hearts all at Mustafa Centre. The Seven jars of virgins’ tears were collected at a Justin Bieber concert held recently at the Istana.

“Alamak… the bowl of blood that one like very the hard to get eh.” Thought Hang Tuah.

Hang Tuah and Tun Mamat went to meet the Sultan and asked him, “ My Sultan, we have gotten most of what Puteri Gunung Ledang wanted but the last one.”

“What is the last thing on the list Tuah? Asked the Sultan.

“Oh. Nothing big la. Just a bowl of your son blood.” Tuah said.

“A what of the what of the who! Is that women crazy!” screamed the Sultan as he got up from his chair.

“Your highness. Please calm yourself down. No use getting frustrated. And sir, why are you wearing just your boxers with your royal baju kurung?” Tuah said.

“Its no pants Friday. I can’t give that woman a bowl of my son blood. That is insane.” Said the Sultan. “What do I do now?”

“My Sultan. How about you just forget about this Puteri Gunung Ledang. When me and Hang Tuah was there, we never saw her. All we saw was this old lady. Maybe it’s a case of someone being somebody else?” Tun Mamat said.

“Maybe you’re right Mamat.” Sigh the Sultan.

On the Sultans wall that night, he wrote this.

Hotsultan36 : "Kena bubble again.

With that, this story ends. You can see the real version here.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

:: First President of Singapore ::

Here's a short story.

One day, Adam met Jane. Adam proceed to ask Jane,

"Who is the first president of Singapore?"

Jane answered, "Sang Nila Utama".

Adams reaction.... looked like this

Saturday, September 25, 2010

:: Photo obsession ::

Went out full force today to try out my newly "borrowed" camera. Results can be found here.


















A little note, Sang Nila Utama is NOT the first president of Singapore. Come on people!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

:: Breakfast gone wrong ::

Continuing the historical lesson.......

Once upon a time, many many years ago, there was a street magician named Tun Jana Katib.

He decided one day to visit Singapore since he heard that the local food there is nice. He sms-ed his 2 good friend, Tuan di-Bungoran and Tuan di-Selangor to set a date for a tour of the city. During his tour, he walked past the palace of the King of Singapore and saw the queen looking out the window.

"Oh my," he thought to himself. "Chio bu sia"

Now there was a betel-palm growing beside the palace, and Tun Jana Khatib look at his 2 friends and said "My friend, (long intense pause) watch." He cast a spell on it and it turned into two palms! Coincidently, Paduka Sri Maharaja (da King) was having breakfast and saw what Tun Jana Katib did.

"Bastard!" screamed da King. "How dare he anyhow anyhow change my trees! Not shy is it?!"

"That is Tun Jana Katib my king. He's a street magician from the east" said one of his servant.

"A what from the what?! I don't care if he's from Tampines or Simei or Pasir Ris! How dare he!" said da King. "Guards! Capture that David Blaine wannabe and sentence him to death!"

"My king, we can't suka suka just execute him" informed his servants.

"I don't care!" da King said, banging on the table. "If I can charge my people 10 cents to enter the public toilet, why not this? Capture him and execute him!" ordered da King.

Tun Jana Katib was captured and it took just one day for his execution to happen. Da King army men brought him to Katib Camp and prepared for his execution.

"Any last words magic man?" asked da King

"Kepalaotak! First you charge your own people 10 cents to enter the public toilets. Now this. I curse your country! May a thousand sand flies feast on your family jewel!" Tun Jana Katib yelled!

Raising up to his feet, da King said, "Wo, wo, wo, wo, wo. Family jewel don't play play ah."

"Ok. Fine. Hmmmm..... may a thousand swordfish attack your harbour? Is that cool?" asked Tun Jana Katib.

"Yes. That's ok" da King said, now seated back on his throne.

"Ok. May a thousand swordfish attack your harbour!" yelled Tun Jana Katib.

"Guards. Kill him!" da King ordered.

The executioner took a kris and stabbed Tun Jana Katib. In an instant he died.

Rumour has it that when Tun Jana Katib died, there was a man making cake nearby. And when Tun Jana Khatib was stabbed by the executioner, his blood dripped to the ground, though his body was spirited to Langkawi. When the cake-maker clapped the lid of his pan down over a clot of Tun Jana Khatib's blood, it turned into stone. Till this day, the stone is still there. Back to the story.

The harbour at Tanjong Pagar was indead attacked by a thousand swordfish, stalling the "legalise gambling area" that da King had in mind. Day by day, many of his workers died.

"How can this be? I'm losing hundreds of dollars on insurance pay out to the victim families! I have to stop this. Slaves! Bring me my red fast horse! I want to see what's happening at Tanjong Pagar." da King said.

Upon reaching Tanjong Pagar, da King saw himself, thousands of swordfish, flying out the waters.One by one, killing his workers. Suddenly, one swordfish flew out of the water and was heading towards da King.

"FUCK!!!!!!!" screamed da King. With a loud thud, the nose of the swordfish landed in between da Kings legs, just missing his family jewel. "All of you, form a barricade to protect me! All of you!" ordered da King. Alas, one by one, his human barricade was stabbed by the swordfish.

"There are so many banana stems lying around, why are all of you sacrificing your body to form this barricade. Take the stems, cut, and use that to form the barricade ah." a tiny voice from the crowd said.

"Oooo.Not a bad idea. Not bad at all" thought da King. Da King took out his loud hailer and said, "Testing, testing. All personnel, please go to the wooded area and cut out the banana stems. Next, refer to page 54 of the 'Dummies guide to barricade building'. Please be careful in handling your cutting tools."

Soon, the banana stem barricade was formed. In time, most of the swordfish got stuck on the stems and was killed.

"Who is the person who suggested this wonderful idea?" asked da King.

A small boy emerged from the crowd and said "It was me your highness."

"You are a smart boy indeed. Not as handsome as me. But still, a smart boy." said da King. "What would you like in return?"

"I would not like anything my king, as what I did was merely just my duty as a citizen of your country" the boy said.

"You are something my son." said da King. He rose from his chair and said, "Everyone, cheer for this boy! He is, a true hero!"

Everyone cheered as da King sat down and whispered to his minister, "I think this kid will be a problem in the future. Tonight, take him to that hill and make him swim with the fishes. Kapish?"

"Yes sir." his minister said.

Night time came and 2 of da King guards took the little boy to the hill near to the palace. There, one of the guards took out his long kris while the other tied the boy up.

"Sorry boy, bosses orders." said one of the guard.

The guard raised his kris up in the air and stabbed the little boy. The boy shouted, "macam sialla!!!!" and fell to the ground. He bled and bled non stop for hours, making the hill turn red.

That night, da King received news on the weird death of the little boy and he remembered what he did to Tun Jana Katib. Adding to all of this, he pondered on the unnecessary deaths of his workers due to the swordfish curse. He hunched over to his wash basin and splashed water to his face. He looked up into his wall mirror and shook his head.

"Dammit! If only I had my breakfast at a coffeshop instead of at my house that day. I wouldn't have seen that idiot magician flirting with my wife."

The End.

p.s - This is only a story being told by me. No offense to all the characters being put forward in this story. You can find out the true stories here, here and here.

:: What creature is that? ::

Today is a good day to know alittle tiny bit more about the country I live in. Lets track back to the pre-Raffles era of Singapore.

Long before your time…

Sang Nila Utama, a prince of Palembang, was out hunting at one of the islands in Riau (Indonesia). A deer caught his attention and off he went, chasing for the kill. He came to a very large rock and decided “hey maybe I should climb it”. Climb the large rock he did. Once he was at the top, he saw (in the distance) an island with a sandy beach. The island, to him, looks like a large piece of white cloth.

“What land is that?” asked Sang Nila Utama.

“I believe that is Temasek my lord” answered his trusted minister (also known as his “left ball” or “ambre” now).

“We shall visit Temasek!” Sang Nila Utama shouted with fist in the air.

Relieved was the deer he was chasing as the mysterious Temasek has saved its life.

Now, we shall fast forward this story alittle bit. I’ll summarise some parts of what happen during the voyage.

- A storm hit the boat Sang Nila Utama was in

- He had to throw anything heavy out to sea as his ship was taking in water

- Only when he threw his crown into the sea did the storm stopped.

Sang Nila Utama finally landed at the mouth of the present-day Singapore River and decided, “now lets hunt!” The moment he said that, a strange animal with a red body, black head and a white breast appeared. It was an awesomely leuwau looking animal and it moved with great speed as it disappeared into the forest. Most people would have shake and stutter at the sight of such greatness. Not Sang Nila Utama, who decided upon seeing that animal to ask his left b--, I mean his trusted minister,

“What animal was that?”

“Sir, that fine looking animal is probably a lion.” Answered his minister.

“I see. Than, we shall screw the name Temasek and name this place…. Wait for it… Singapura!” claimed Sang Nila Utama with his right fist up high in the air.

His ministers cheered and clapped. Sang Nila Utama ruled Singapura for 48 years after that day.

Little did his majesty know, that his minister was wrong. Singapura (which means Lion City in Malay) was the wrong name given at that time. Why? Because recent research has shown that lions have never ever lived in Singapore. What they saw probably was a tiger. I guess this is what should have probably happen.

… who decided upon seeing that animal to ask his left b--, I mean his trusted minister,

“What animal was that?”

“Sir, that fine looking animal is probably a lion.” Answered his minister.

“I see. Are you sure? “ asked his Majesty.

“Yes sir. I read somewhere that a lion looks like what your majesty have just said.” Answered his minister.

“Really? The thing is my friend, I know someone who knows someone who have talked to someone who has shown him a picture of a lion. The first thing he noticed is that lions have a mane. I don’t see any mane on that particular creature. Do you take me as a fool!” screams Sang Nila Utama

“No sir! I do not take you as a fool! Pardon my idiotness. I’m such a stooge!” the minister said as he knelt down on his majesty feet.

“Imbecile! That! My fellow subjects….” Sang Nila Utama said pointing to the direction of where the animal was at, “Is a Kucinta! Therefore, screw the name Temasek! I shall name this place…. Wait for it… Kucintapura!” claimed Sang Nila Utama with his right fist up high in the air.

His fellow minister cheered as Sang Nila Utama held his fist up high, looking upwards towards the sky, soaking in the praises and congratulations thrown to him by his subjects.

p.s - I just like to add that although this is a twisted rendition of the story, no form of disrespect is to be aimed to the Deer, Tiger, Lion, Minister, Angry Ocean, Sang Nila Utamas crown or Sang Nila Utama himself. Read the REAL articles here and here.

Friday, September 17, 2010

:: Somewhere in my phone ::

Found this photograph in my hp and decided on touching it up. Taken during Nura's 21st birthday. Was really honored to be there ever since your 18th birthday.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

:: Punggol Beach ::

A few nights ago, K and I set forth to look for 2 things.

1) Matilda house
2) Punggol Beach

Why would this 2 be on our list you might ask. Well, Matilda house is supposedly haunted. Plus, its an old, old house. Punggol Beach is a site where hundreds of Chinese were massacred during the Japanese occupation which means, land rich historical site.

We failed to find Matilda's house as the area was really really dark BUT, we managed to find Punggol Beach. Since it was dark, the only photograph we managed to take that made sense was this.




















Find out more about this historical site here.

We're planning on a trip to another historical place. Might be putting out a list of what we have done (with links to flickr and other important informative sites).

On a personal note, recording is commencing and I've learn to pee standing up. Spell my name on the snow people! BOOYAH!

Friday, September 10, 2010

:: Confession ::

People, I have a confession to make. Since I was very very young, I was told to have a very bad habit. I, Wan, am a chronic doodler. Yes. I said it. I'm a chronic doodler. BUT, before you say anything bad about it, lets see some nice information shall we.

1) Doodling is known to increase a persons memory
2) Doodling helps greatly in concentration
3) Works the 'creative part of the brain
4) Make you look busy at a meeting when all you're feeling is ultimate boredom
5) and lastly, when you doodle and it looks nice, you can frame it up and let the world see your art

Below is what I doodled on a recent meeting. Part 1 of many I guess. This was a part of a very big picture I drew.


























In conclusion, the next time anyone tells you that doodling is bad, nicely inform that person to go "fly a kite" or to go "have sexual intercourse with a spider". Ok, that's extreme. Just tell that to read this entry.

P.s : Selamat Hari Raya to everyone who celebrates it!

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

:: An answer to the Merlion mystery ::

I emailed a bunch of organizations to figure out if they know the story behind the extra twin Merlions I saw. So far only 1 came back to me with an answer. Here it is.

Dear Wan

Greetings from the Singapore Tourism Board (STB)!

Thank you for your e-mail.

With regard to your enquiry., I have checked with our Communications department and was informed that there are now 8 (not 5) merlions in Singapore, that STB is aware of. They are:

- Merlion Park x 2 (main Merlion and the Merlion cub)
- Sentosa x 1
- Mount Faber x 1
- STB x 1
- Ang Mo Kio x 2
- Lilliputt x 1

History/Background
The Merlion was designed in 1964 by Mr Fraser Brunner, a member of the souvenir committee and a curator of the Van Kleef Aquarium. On 20 July 1966, the Merlion was registered as the trademark of the Singapore Tourist Promotion Board (STPB).

Should you require further assistance, please feel free to contact us at our touristline 1800 736 2000 (+65 6736 2000 from overseas) between 8am to 9pm daily.

Thank you.

Now, I know its not a complete answer. Which only means 1 thing. More research. Come on people, answer my emails!

I like to thank Singapore Tourism Board (STB) for the quick reply.

:: In December ::

Might or might not happen.





















Smoke as perfume
RTT
Not about you
Bringing them down
Caving into something

Friday, September 03, 2010

:: Wanted part 2 ::




















Name:
Anisah
Alias:
Kakak, Eh, Oi, Girl girl, Kakak kecik, Chocolate monster, Jangan kacau, I dah penat, No!
D.O.B:
No idea
Characteristics:
Enjoys saying "hi" to people. Has the tendency to be super friendly to victim without victim knowing her true intention. Got that from her father. Practice extreme caution when she comes up to you and say hi and hold your hands. Highly intelligent 2/3 year old. Could smell fear from a mile away. Has seen her detect chocolate in its wrapper from 4 miles away.
Likes:
Teddy bears, saying "hi" in 25 different language and chocolate.
Dislikes:
Further research needs to be conducted.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

:: Tale of 5,000 bricks ::

Was at the National Library in the morning for some "work related stuff" and realize one major thing. If I'm not wrong, when the National Library moved from its original location to its present location, some of its red bricks was moved and put into an exhibition-like display. The thing is, I don't really know where it is. Now, as I'm typing this, I know (after doing some amount of research). Here's some pictures for the day.


























Here's 1 of the bricks found in the library at an exhibition at level 5.




















This insignia, located near one of the entrance of the library, was from the old library (maybe located at its main hall). Some believed the four symbols symbolize knowledge from the four corners of the world. Lastly,





















The last part of the original gate linking the National Museum to the old library. Yes people, in the olden times (when police still where shorts) the National Museum and the National Library shared the same location. Cool huh?

So, now the question is..... where is the 5,000 brick exhibition? I know where it is. Only have to get me buttocks down there to take a picture of it. Till next time.....

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

:: Heartland Merlions ::

Singapore is an interesting place if you only know where to look at while walking. Me and 19 frets was taking a romantic stroll near somewhere and I chanced upon this.



































































Now you see my fellow friends, there are 5 official Merlions in Singapore. There are at

1) Sentosa (The big ones with laser blasting out of its eyes around 8pm)
2) The mother Merlion at the Merlion Park
3) The baby Merlion at the Merlion Park
4) Another at the Tourism Court and lastly
5) One 3m Merlion at Mount Faber.

Since we were somewhere in the heartland, how can there be a pair of Merlions there. I wonder I ponder. Based on an article, this pair could either be

a) A counterfeit/replica of the Merlion recognised by the Singapore Tourism Board (STB) or
b) A counterfeit/replica of the Merlion NOT recognised by the STB.

Whichever it is, it looks leuwau cool and it proves one good point. Everywhere you go, if you know where to look, things can never be boring.

A clue to where this pair of Merlions can be found. I give you a hint. And here it is.

Stop Id : 54611

Sunday, August 29, 2010

:: Kampung Buangkok Artsy Fartsy photograph ::

Just for fun, I did this photograph of an old electrical pole. (or whatever its called). Find more at my Flikr page.

:: Kampung Buangkok ::

Yesterday, me and K went down to Kampung Buangkok to

a) finally visit the last ever kampung ever in Singapore and
b) got to take photographs to document (and brag) that I have went thru this adventure.

Pictures people. Watch em.

Entrance to the Kampung




















Surau at the Kampung (mini mosque)





















The Kampung houses







































A buddha ornament





















Buangkok River (which connects to "To the port")




















Another entrance to the Kampung.




















Lastly, just like the first adventure we went thru, this one ended with us seeing a huge ass python snake! Yes!




















Another place visited which means another story to tell people. Till the next adventure, stay curious people!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

:: Heads up ::

Soon, and I really mean soon, I will be posting up what I did today. Its going to be HUGE I tell you!!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

:: Told you its going to be legendary ::

Last Saturday, I told K that “tonight my friend…… its going to be LEGENDARY.” Not surprising, he didn’t believe me a single bit. By the end of the night, after doing an “after action review” did he realize that the night was truly, leuwauly legendary. Why? Here’s why
1) We manage to get a bus to miss his turn making him enter PIE.

2) We ate dendeng (or is it spelled dengdeng)

3) We played pool on a billard table. (One game took 15min plus to finish)

4) The trip down to Geylang was plagued with humorously done wrong turns

5) Lastly, its legendary alone to be spending time with my close friends.


The night however was almost ruined by rain. Luckily, it did not. On Friday, me and Suf was at the Lunarin pre album launch. I got a free poster, a free guitar pick and their newest album, get this, before it was even launched! Yes! Place was packed and here’s some picture to prove it.











































































I recommend any music lover to get the new Lunarin album (Duae). Been close to a week and I'm still listening to it.