:: Streetfest 09 Part 1 ::

For the June 12 gig, Oligarchy set list we be as so:

1) Smoke as perfume
2) RTT
3) (This is) Not about you
4) Creator in disguise
5) Stray
6) Caving into something
7) Bringing them down
8) Anna Amethyst

If you have the time, do see the video coz its a good sneak preview on what we'll be doing on that day (maybe even more).

:: Setlist for Streetfest 10 gig ::

Here are the list of songs Oligarchy will be playing during Streetfest 10. Hope to see people there!

Bringing them down
The way out
Understanding the break down
Caving into something
Valium
Use somebody - Kings of Leon
You know you're right - Nirvana

:: The Post Office Job Interview ::

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?"
He says "Yes, just caffeine."
"Have you ever been in the service?" the interviewer asks.
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment here.” and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes... an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles clean off."
The interviewer tells the guy "O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now.
Normal hours are from 8am to 4pm. You can start tomorrow at 10am, and plan on starting at 10am every day. Don't worry, we'll still pay you from 8am."
The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8am to 4pm, why don't you want me to be here before 10am?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says.
"For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

:: More updates on songs Oligarchy should cover ::

More updates!

01) Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
02) With or Without you - U2
03) You know you're right - Nirvana
04) Time after time - Cyndi Lauper
05) Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me - U2
06) Billie Jean - The late, great, Michael Jackson
07) Jumper - Third Eye Blind
08) Here's to the night - Eve 6
09) Just like a pill - Pink
10) Kiss the rain - Billie Myers

Keep them coming! The gig is coming really soon and i think by the end of this week, the list will be finalized and we'll see which songs are going to be picked. Acoustic or as a whole band performance would be a whole new level of headache!

:: The Art of Eating Ketchup ::

Imagine this. You are at your favourite fastfood restaurant. You ordered yourself a nice burger. You sit down. Arrange your food. Take the ketchup packets. Rip them open on one side. You unwrapped those paper wrappers and proceed to remove the top bun, exposing the meat. YOu take the ketchup packet and squeeze all the content out to the center of the burger. Than, you take the top half bread part and just squesh it back to place.

Does this sound like you? Are you eating burgers this way? If you are.... YOU ARE NOT EATING IT THE RIGHT WAY!

Let Crainte la baise face teach you the PROPER way to eat your burger with ketchup (can apply with packets of chili sauce too)!

Why is it wrong?

It is wrong because when you do that, all the sauce will be concentrated only on the center, leaving the center as sour as hell (spicy if its chili sauce) and the outer layer parts bland. By doing so, you are also making the center part mushy. Who likes mushy burgers man!

If its wrong, what do i do to make it right?

Well, two left turns don't make a right. Right? Introducing, "THE ART OF EATING KETCHUP"!!! (manual for NOT MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF WHILE EATING BURGER comes exclusively for first 5 people who yells "GODZILLA" in the girls toilet)

The Art of Eating Ketchup

The Art of Eating Ketchup was created by a group of scientist looking to solve this big mystery. Many ways were created and tested but to no avail. One day, a scientist name Dr. Wersmypundik was about to eat a burger when his phone rang. It was an important call and he needed to write down a memo but has no pen or paper within his reach. Seeing the exposed burger and the opened ketchup packet, he took the ketchup packet and wrote the message on the beef patty. After hanging up, he took a pen and paper and wrote what was on the patty down on the paper. He covered the burger and proceed to eat it. He realized that the ketchup was spread even! Leaving no mushy center or the concentrated sour taste at the center! He realized that by writing a message onto the patty, he is spreading the sauce evenly throughout the patty!

Why should i follow The Art of Eating Ketchup?

Why not?

Well, The Art of Eating Ketchup is not only for burgers, you can eat it with fries or chickens! Have fun, write love messages or messages of hope and peace. Below is an example i did a few days back.

















(Note, the message is not to anyone in particular. It was done out of fun and boredom. If you think it is a message to you, please sit down and consider what wrong you have done to me to make you think that I would write that message down just for you and you only.)

So what are you waiting for!? Enjoy the Art of Eating Ketchup now!

*Author holds no responsibility or is liable for actions that user may suffer from if someone sitting around your area sees the message written. Author is also not responsible if sauces are stale. No backspace or undo is possible after writing the message on the patty. Blankco is not recommended due to poisonous substance found in it.

:: Update of Oligarchy cover song ::

An update on the songs Oligarchy should be covering

1) Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
2) With or Without you - U2
3) You know you're right - Nirvana
4) Time after time - Cyndi Lauper
5) Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me - U2
6) Billie Jean - The late, great, Michael Jackson
7) Jumper - Third Eye Blind
8) Here's to the night - Eve 6

Keep the list going people!!!

:: Oligarchy upcoming gigs and setlist preview ::

June will be a busy month for Oligarchy. 5 shows have been confirmed although the setlist has not been confirmed yet. Well, lets try something out right here and now.

Here are the details of what gig we have, when and where it will happen
Streetfest 2010 - 12 June 2010 (Plaza Singapura)
Ramans gig - 19 June 2010 (Katib Community Centre if I'm not wrong)
Carnival by the Straits 2010 - 19 June 2010 (SAF Changi Yatch Club)
Streetfest 2010 - 20 June 2010 (Cineleisure)
Streetfest 2010 - 27 June 2010 (Cathay)

Therefore, as you can see, Oligarchy will be busy during June. 2 weddings is happening during June, which makes us all busier like an ant!

In terms of setlist, we will be playing cover songs. Here's a list of possible covers we will play

1) Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
2) With or Without you - U2
3) You know you're right - Nirvana
4) Time after time - Cyndi Lauper
5) Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me - U2
6) Billie Jean - The late, great, Michael Jackson

So what i need anyone and everyone to do is, tell me what you all want to hear and we'll play it. Even if its a Nirvana song that isn't in the list, just tell me! If we can do it, we will do it. If we can't, pick another song!

For the original songs, i don't think i'm putting down the list and asking people to pick coz there is a possibility I am going to pick all new songs to play that are not on the EP and not been performed on last year Streetfest or any major gig events.

Updated talks with Bob indicates a new layout for our myspace page with new themes and also a new logo for Oligarchy. Check out the page to see updates and hear samples of our music there.

Tell me what songs you want me to play either thru my blog or my twitter page. Also please update me if you have seen "Sembawang random guy".

Let the year kick its butt with Oligarchy!

:: English Premier League Champion once more!!! ::

Congrats to the people down at Chelsea FC! Job well done! No shame for Man United fans as this was really a close close season. Kudos! Hangover feeling for no English soccer for the next 2 months or so. Pride of London!!!

:: Bannana going at 50 cents ::

:: The Hotel Bill ::

The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider
this...

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After
almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and
they decide to stop for a rest.

They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for
four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for
$350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.

He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't
worth $350.00!

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on
speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available
for the husband and wife to use.

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.

'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which
the hotel is famous.

'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform
here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we
didn't use it!'

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.
He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. 'But sir,' he says,
this check is only made out for $50.00.'

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with
my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have.'

:: 15 funny ways to answer your office phone ::

1. "Tukang mandi mayat..!" (Undertaker)
2. "Cobra commander, how can i help you?"
3. "Canadian pizza, 2 for 1. (pause) Canadian pizza, 2 for 1"
4. "Your soul is mine....."
5. "HELLO! WA TAKDA SENANG!"
6. "Seven daaaaayyyyyssssss"
7. "Rock on! Apply directly to your head. Rock on! Apply directly to you head. Roc...."
8. "Hi, this is Hell. Do you have a booking?"
9. "To donate $5, please press 1."
10. "Fish marker, Shark speaking"
11. "Sorry Han Solo is a rock currently."
12. picks the phone up and just roar!
13. "Please leave your message after the beep." And you just hang up.
14. "Hi, you will be recorded for quality training"
15. "Twit twit. Twit twit" Hang up.