Monday, November 29, 2010

:: Last weekend ::

Last weekends, there was no gigs, no jam, no nothing. Last weekend was filled with nothing. Finally, a time to rest, a time to reflect, a time to catch up on much needed sleep and lastly, a time to just hit that stop button to rest. Right?


Last weekend was GREAT! Filming, cousins getting married, went to the guitar shop and writing! Now, that's life people! Weekend was really really busy but its uber rad! Took pictures too. Might be editing it and putting it on flickr real soon. Tomorrow's a busier day. Back to work! BOOYAH!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

:: Accidental Meeting ::

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it's a bad one.

Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman... Wow!

Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head, opens it and says "You take the first drink", then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately chugs half of it, puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The woman asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The man replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."

:: Beer contains female hormones ::

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

:: Counter measures ::

Two young boys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young boys, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than some hard jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court on Monday morning, bright and early."

The two boys where in court that Monday morning, and the judge asked the first one, "So, How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor," he replied, "I persuaded 22 people to give up drugs forever."

"22 people? That's amazing. How'd you accomplish such a feat?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs, and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?" he asked the second boy.

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 214 people to give up drugs forever."

"214 people! That's unbelieveable! How on earth did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar approach," he answered. "I drew a large and a small circle. Pointing to the small circle, I said, this is your asshole before you go to prison..........."

:: 10.10.10 ::

There's 2 things in Singapore now that's really important.

1) Chicken Rice and
2) Sheikh Haikel's new album (10.10.10)

If you have never ever tasted Chicken Rice, something is really wrong. Even writing the sentence gives me the chills! Its a free download album. Nicely done, nicely recorded, nice usage of Auto-tune and lastly, its freaking awesome. I'm no rapper or a RnB song writer, but its good music. And that's all that matters.

Go download the album here people!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

:: Welcome to hell ::

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!

Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and Fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!

Guy: Gee that sounds great!

Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You know it!

Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?

Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Why, yes I do.

Demon: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?...

Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!

Guy: WOW !! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!

Demon: Are You gay?

Guy: No....

Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

:: Ultimate Class test ::

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

:: Single 70 year old ::

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married again. So she put an ad in the local newspaper that reads:


Two days later the doorbell rang. She opened the door, and much to her dismay, there sat a gray-haired gentleman in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
"Are you responding to my ad?" the woman asked. "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?"
"Yes, I am," the man replied.

The old lady sneered: "Just look at you. You have no legs !"

The old gentleman smiled and said: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms, either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, and softly replied: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

The wedding is set for Saturday.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

:: Ghost story ::

This is a true story, it happened to a guy who worked as a staff, on the 40th floor of the Treasury Building in Shenton Way. On that day Thursday night, he worked overtime and was forced to go home alone around 11:00 in the evening....No one was inside the building, aside from the night patrol and it was quite dark on that floor. He went to the elevator and pressed the down button, then the door opened without anyone inside....he went in and then, pressed "G" for ground floor.

Unknowingly why, the elevator went up. He tried to press the down button again but it continued to go up.When it reached the 59th floor,the elevator stopped! The door opened, and then, a woman who was mysteriously so beautiful, with long black hair and white dress, smiled sweetly at him and entered the elevator. The guy was wondering who she was, since he never saw her ever since he worked in that building. He was asking himself...who is she, and why haven't she gone home yet when it was nearly midnight, it's not safe for a lady to be alone late in the evening.

He wanted to ask her but since he was shy, he just kept silent. In the silence, the elevator went down slowly from one floor to another... 48... 47.... 46...... 35... 34..... 29...... when suddenly...on the 13th floor, the lights in the elevator went off and the elevator suddenly stopped. It was pitch darkness...he pressed the emergency button...waited...but nothing happened. Suddenly, he smelled a very foul
odor of something rotten... goose pimples went all over his skin...his
heart beat faster,cold sweat broke out his brows, he could not breathe, ....and so, he began to say a prayer and tried to calm himself, breathe normally....while moving backwards slowly. Then, the lights came on. Suddenly, the woman who was behind him gave an eerie laugh.... and said..................................

Sorry I just Fart.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

:: Nice ::

Girl: What's wrong?
Boy : I like her so much...
Girl: Talk to her!
Boy : I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy : I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her..
Boy : She won't like me...
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy : I can just tell.
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy : What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her!
Boy : I tell her that daily.
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy : I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll NEVER like me!
Boy : Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy.
Boy : Oh... She won't like me either.
Girl: She does.
Boy : How do you know..?
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy : You.
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy : I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy : I just did!

Monday, November 15, 2010

:: Dancing hall ::

" This slow dance
Is close to the end
Is in your hands
Its your decisions"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

:: Numbers game ::

A boy was walking down a street. As he passed a building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen" over and over again.

Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn't. Then he spotted a hole in the wood.

He put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, the people started chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

:: Jam time ::

Yesterday was the day where I hauled my ass down to the jam room to practice for Oligarchy's last show before another hiatus. Really rad and looking forward for this coming weekend to play a legendary gig. Details are still very very hazy. All I know is that it's at the new scape on the 21st of this month. I do not know when we'll be on stage but we'll be there by 2 pm for sound checks. I do not know if there's tickets to be bought or if its a free entry gig. More to come on this blog when I do know. In the mean time, get busy listening to some of our songs either here or here.

Can't wait to meet up and catch up with friends on that special day. Booyah!!!

Also, we'll be giving away our EP for FREE! Thats freaking right. Free!!! So come and catch it while you still can because we will be donating all of the EP to the salvation army after the 21st.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

:: BABES concert ::

21st November 2010. Remember this date people. Why? Coz Oligarchy will be playing on that very same day at Scape (Basement). Be there by 3 to not only hang out but to see us perform in our last gig EVER for this year. It's going to be historical! Here is the setlist,

Smoke as perfume
Not about you
Bringing them down
Caving into something

So be there coz its going to be something special! True dat!