Tuesday, May 18, 2010

:: The Art of Eating Ketchup ::

Imagine this. You are at your favourite fastfood restaurant. You ordered yourself a nice burger. You sit down. Arrange your food. Take the ketchup packets. Rip them open on one side. You unwrapped those paper wrappers and proceed to remove the top bun, exposing the meat. YOu take the ketchup packet and squeeze all the content out to the center of the burger. Than, you take the top half bread part and just squesh it back to place.

Does this sound like you? Are you eating burgers this way? If you are.... YOU ARE NOT EATING IT THE RIGHT WAY!

Let Crainte la baise face teach you the PROPER way to eat your burger with ketchup (can apply with packets of chili sauce too)!

Why is it wrong?

It is wrong because when you do that, all the sauce will be concentrated only on the center, leaving the center as sour as hell (spicy if its chili sauce) and the outer layer parts bland. By doing so, you are also making the center part mushy. Who likes mushy burgers man!

If its wrong, what do i do to make it right?

Well, two left turns don't make a right. Right? Introducing, "THE ART OF EATING KETCHUP"!!! (manual for NOT MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF WHILE EATING BURGER comes exclusively for first 5 people who yells "GODZILLA" in the girls toilet)

The Art of Eating Ketchup

The Art of Eating Ketchup was created by a group of scientist looking to solve this big mystery. Many ways were created and tested but to no avail. One day, a scientist name Dr. Wersmypundik was about to eat a burger when his phone rang. It was an important call and he needed to write down a memo but has no pen or paper within his reach. Seeing the exposed burger and the opened ketchup packet, he took the ketchup packet and wrote the message on the beef patty. After hanging up, he took a pen and paper and wrote what was on the patty down on the paper. He covered the burger and proceed to eat it. He realized that the ketchup was spread even! Leaving no mushy center or the concentrated sour taste at the center! He realized that by writing a message onto the patty, he is spreading the sauce evenly throughout the patty!

Why should i follow The Art of Eating Ketchup?

Why not?

Well, The Art of Eating Ketchup is not only for burgers, you can eat it with fries or chickens! Have fun, write love messages or messages of hope and peace. Below is an example i did a few days back.

(Note, the message is not to anyone in particular. It was done out of fun and boredom. If you think it is a message to you, please sit down and consider what wrong you have done to me to make you think that I would write that message down just for you and you only.)

So what are you waiting for!? Enjoy the Art of Eating Ketchup now!

*Author holds no responsibility or is liable for actions that user may suffer from if someone sitting around your area sees the message written. Author is also not responsible if sauces are stale. No backspace or undo is possible after writing the message on the patty. Blankco is not recommended due to poisonous substance found in it.

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