Thursday, January 06, 2011

:: Santa Clause is coming to town ::

The wall calender states,
24th December, not a day early or late
"This year will be special" he said
Because I'm sending presents to a country without a state

He took out a pen, and marked his map
Singapore. Yes. This year I will visit Singapore

Santa Clause got on his sleigh
And whipped his reindeer hard
With PS3s, Wiis and coals (meant for naughty kids)
Santa Clause flew, into the dark

Magical and powerful Santa Claus is
He traveled from the North Pole and reach Singapore in mere minutes

"Ho, Ho, Ho!" Santa Clause yelled
Laughing out load, flying faster than light
He looked at this tiny red dot and said
"Singapore, here I come for the very first time"

As Santa Clause reached Singapore, he said
"Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas."
"Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho! Holly crap! This place is freaking hot!"

Rudolf was no longer the red nose reindeer.
His whole body was red and so was his face.
"What hot weather this place is!" said Santa.
"Even my reindeers are sweating!"

Santa was about to turn back but said,
"No! The kids in Singapore have been nice!
Their believe in me is strong!
For them, I won't turn back. For them I will try!"

Flying thru Orchard, flying past the Flyer
Santa sleigh was flying faster, and faster
Suddenly his reindeer stopped
In front of a big blue sign

"ERP - In operation"
In bold yellow lines
"What is this ERP?" Santa thought?
"We have to pay to enter Santa" Rudolf sigh

"Pay?! I do not have cash with me now" Santa cried
"Go around it my friends! Daylight is coming!" commanded Santa
The reindeers followed the instructions and went around the big blue sign.
A bright flash of light flashed and Santa wondered "Could that be a lightning strike?"

Reaching a block of flats, Santa stopped on top of it.
"Where is the chimneys to get myself into the house?" Santa pondered.
"You have to go down the lifts sir, to get to the house" Rudolf said.
Santa went to an open lift and down he went.

Reaching the top level of the flats
Santa saw 2 man
With cans of paint in their hands
"Singaporeans are artist too, who loves graffiti art like i do!" Santa said

He looked at the door of the unit and saw the words "OSPS"
"Oh! I bet OSPS means 'Only Santa Pleases Singapore'!" Santa said.
He went up to the 2 man and said "Let me help you decorate that my friends"
Baffled and shocked, the 2 man handed him the can

Just when Santa was ready to write
"Merry Christmas Singapore"
He heard a loud and commanding voice
Saying "Put your hands up and leave that can on the floor!"

With cans in his hands, Santa held his hand up
Saying, "Whats is this? What have I done?"
"You are under arrest for loan shark activities!
Although the Santa outfit is the first of its kind, it doesn't change anything!" said the policeman

"Wait officers, I think you've got it wrong" Santa said
"Shut up asshole! I've been observing you for long!" the policeman said
Suddenly out of nowhere Santa heard, "Santa Clause, here, jump out of the ledge"
Seeing Rudolf was there, Santa jumped into his flying sleigh.

"Oh my god, that was close.
If I was put in jail, I'll be exposed!
This place is too hot, to continue to roam
Rudolf my friend, it's time for us to go home"

There's no merry laughter, there's no "Ho, ho, ho"
With a sad sweaty face, Santa went home.
Reaching the North Pole, Santa face was covered in ice
So was his reindeer, coz their sweats froze to ice

"How was Singapore my dear?" asked Mrs Clause
"That place wasn't only humid and hot!
There was no chimneys at all!
I was mistaken to be a loan shark,
Although I wasn't in the sea
Why they thought I was a shark
When all I did was helped 2 man do graffiti."

"Oh dear, you must be tired. But I guess Singapore loves you
There's a letter for you from their TP! Addressed to you!" Mrs Clause said.
"I wonder what TP means and why it was sent
Could it mean 'Thankful people'? Honey, quick, Pass me my pen!
I could be wrong about Singapore, like I was with Japan.
Oh how excited, how excited I am" Santa screamed!

With his chubby finger, he opened the letter
Took out his glasses, from inside his drawers
Slowly he read, word for word, letter by letter
"Evasion of ERP gentry and failure to pay ERP charges - $28"

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